This isn't like my other postings, but more of a conversation for my mood at this time. Almost like therapy I suppose. Well as many of you know, I lost my grandfather almost a month ago on March 12, 2011. I must say that was a very hard time for me as well as my family, and it still is. I never thought that it would be so difficult to say good bye to a loved one when you know your good bye is one that will never be greeted with a hello in the future. Although the pain is great, I must always remind myself that if one is absent from their body it means they are present with the Lord. I can honestly say that I truly believe that with my grandfather. My grandfather was a God-fearing man, that many loved and respected. A man of integrity, a gardener, a carpenter, a brother, husband, father, and a "granddaddy".
I remember it so well how he used to chase me around the house when I was younger and playing with me. Or how he would stand in his garden looking across the field at everything he had planted. It seems like it was just yesterday when he would cut down sugar cane for me and my sister and bring it to us and we would sit on the porch waiting. I miss those days. It is those memories that I will never let go of, memories that I will never forget. Is it so silly that I wish I could have that those moments again? Not because I really want to go back in time, but only because that would mean he would still be here.
Last saturday (April 2, 2011), my sister got married. The entire day I kept thinking to myself that I wished my grandfather would've been able to be there. His first grandchild to be married, his oldest! As my sister turned to walk down the aisle, the air stood very still for a split second and immediately there was this great breeze that came through and the moment was perfect. I don't know if anyone else noticed, but I thought to myself, "He is here....". I know he was proud.
Even though there is still grief, there will always be smiles and joy as I think over everything I know about him and the impact he had on my life. Gone but never forgotten. I love you Granddaddy... Leo Gillis, Sr.
-Candi
